Drunken Master Arc
by dial558hell
Summary: Jaune Arc is a man of three things, fighting, fun and drinking. And all three tend to go together. Watch Jaune, Master of Drunken Boxing stagger his way through Remnant. (Just a funny story i decided to write for shits and giggles. Not trying to string anything together or make anything groundbreaking just scenario after scenario.)
1. Chapter 1

The streets of Vale were alive with the hustle and bustle of people, cars and lights. A black and yellow motor bike was zigzagging its way through the main roads, until it turned onto a dimly lit and somewhat shady corner, stopping outside of Junior's club.

Yang Xiao Long parked her beloved Bumble Bee and took off her helmet, her long golden hair falling to her waste. To say that Yang was pretty would be an understatement, she was gorgeous, with soft lilac eyes, an hourglass figure and rather large tracks of land. And she knew it to, wearing short shorts and a crop top jacket to show off her figure.

She loved the attention she got because of her looks, and she owned it. Either using it to embarrass people, persuade them or better still make them underestimate her.

That last one was a favourite of hers, because it's always funny when some jackass who gets a bit too handsy decides to underestimate a huntress in training.

She walked into the club hips swaying to the rhythm of the music pumping from the DJ. The dance floor was packed with people dancing and grinding. The whole place smelled of sweat, alcohol and drugs.

Yang grinned, this was definitely her kind of place.

She walked up to the bar, where the only other occupant was a guy slouched over the counter, wearing a white sleeveless shirt and similarly white pants, his hands and feet were wrapped in linen and in one hand was a shot glass and a gourd at his hip.

"Strawberry Sunrise please" Yang called out her order "No ice, and with a little umbrella."

The man behind the counter looked past his red tinted glasses to look at her. He was a big man, easily breaking 6'6 and dressed like a stereotypical bartender, sleeveless suit, white collar shirt and black dress pants. Only difference was he wore black leather gloves.

"You sure you're old enough to be drinking in here?" he asked.

"Aren't you a little old to be named Junior?" Yang countered grinning.

Junior clucked his tongue. "So you know who I am, do I owe you money or something?" he said, walking out from behind the bar.

"No, I just want information, and I hear you know everything." Yang said following him with her hands behind her back.

"I know a lot, but information doesn't come cheap girly no matter what it is." Junior said dismissively.

"I think I can pay, but instead of girly" Yang said sweetly coming closer to him "call me sir!" Yang said harshly this time grabbing his jewels in a vice like grip.

Jaune Arc loved a good drink. He was sitting at the bar, with a very pleasant buzz going on. He was always happy when he had some booze, and tonight was no exception. Junior always had good stuff on tap and he always complied to Jaune's tastes.

So he lost himself in the bliss that was alchohol, not noticing Junior leaving the bar, or the golden haired bombshell that was talking to him. Or how same bombshell sent Junior careening into the bar with one punch, subsequently spilling Jaune's drink.

Jaune sat up at that point.

No-one.

Touches.

His.

Drink.

He turned around the culprit, and saw the Bombshell finishing up a fight with Juniors men with… were those shotgun gauntlets? As a practitioner of punching he could definitely respect that. She was also insanely hot, and definitely Jaune's type. Had she not just made him spill his drink, he'd have considered using the Arc charm on her. But no, SHE SPILLED HIS DRINK, and that is a crime that cannot be forgiven unless one of two things happened.

Either she buys him another.

Or he beats the crap out of her.

And he really wanted to punch something right now.

Jaune walked over to her, her back was turned to him as she was currently punching a bouncer repeatedly in the face. He tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey." He slurred.

Yang turned around and just barely dodged a punch to her throat from the guy from the bar.

"You spilled my drink."

"Dude..." Was all Yang could say before she noticed something. A strand of long, golden hair in his fingers.

Her hair.

Her eye's turned red.

No-one.

Touches.

Her.

Hair.

It was so on.

Yang roared, her hair igniting and her eyes turning red as she launched herself at the as yet unnamed assailant. Jaune meanwhile dodged her punch by leaning forward, and as he did so, brought his back leg up to meet her face. Yang's momentum was already bringing her forward too fast for her to stop or dodge so she could do nothing but take the kick squarly to her jaw, fortunately her aura was able to stop most of the damage, but it didn't stop it from hurting like a bitch. And what she didn't expect from the kick was an electric shock that had her smelling ozone. She looked at his feet and saw that the linen he had wrapped around them was crackling slightly. She backed off and glared at her opponent, taking up a peekaboo style boxing stance. Jaune meanwhile through his hands up holding them open slightly and was swaying back and forth, clearly drunk beyond belief.

They stared at each other waiting for the other to move.

"Names Jaune." He said still slurring his words together

"Yang."

"You spilled my drink."

"You hurt my hair."

"We both have stupid things we get angry about don't we."

"A bit."

"We aren't going to back down are we."

"Nope."

"Wanna take this outside?"

"Sure."

They both started walking out of the club, Junior in the backround mumbling a small thank you that his club wasn't destroyed any more than it already was. Neither of them took there eyes of the other. Yang walked straight out, while Jaune continued to stumble. He grabbed the gourd that was still at his hip, took the top off, leaned his head back and started chugging whatever was inside it while he pushed the door open.

They both walked into the street, Jaune still drinking.

Yang looked at him curiously her eyes still red and her hair still flaming "Don't expect me to go easy on you just because you're plastered."

"Funny." Jaune said stoppering the gourd and tying it back on his hip, his face started to flush heavily and his stance even more wobbly. "I was gonna ask you not to."

And with that Jaune lunged forward, striking at Yang's shoulder. She dodged out of the way and sent a jab towards Jaune who arched his back forward and caught her arm behind his back with his own. He then went for a headbut which Yang dodged before delivering a hook to Jaunes face which he twisted away from. Yang rushed him, bobbing her head side to side and went for another jab, Jaune this time leaning back whilst extending his arm out to strike at her face, the wrapping son his hand crackling. She blocked it with her guarding hand and with her outstretched threw Jaune onto the ground. Jaune groaned and layed there unmoving and Yang went for an axe kick to his face, Jaune pivoted on his hip, dodging the kick which cracked the pavement and locked his on her other leg, twisting and forcing her to fall sideways. Jaune rolled with her, and grabbed her leg into such a position that her joints were all locked by his body and he began to apply pressure to all of them.

"By me another drink or I dislocate your leg."

Yang simply grunted and Jaune began applying more pressure, the joint of her knee popping slightly.

"Your aura heals wounds like cuts and bruisings, even mends bones completely in a few months, but its not gonna pop it back in place. So you wanna by me that drink. Yang right?"

"Moving a bit fast aren't we there Jauney, already asking me out for a drink." Yang said grinning. She retracted her other leg and kicked straight for Jaune's family jewels and struck home. Jaune immediately let go and curled into a ball squeaking slightly.

Yang got up and stood over him. "Don't touch my hair."

"My dick!" Jaune moaned, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. "Why'd you have to go and hit me in the dick?"

Yang winced slightly her eyes going back to normal and the fire fading from her hair, even for her that was a low blow. "Yeah um, sorry actually, I kinda didn't know what else to do. Um I guess I could buy you that drink?"

Jaune opened one eye glaring at her and Yang. She looked down ashamedly. Jaune sighed, his aura had already begun healing his nuts and he was more feeling wounded pride than wounded… you get the picture. It still was going to be a bit tender for a day or two.

"Yeah sure, sorry about your hair by the way."

"Just don't do it again." And this time Yang glared a bit before leaning down and extending a hand.

"Truce?" she asked

"Truce." Jaune said taking her hand and standing wincing slightly as he did so. He had stopped slurring as that last hit had effectively sobered him up.

" _Aw man the airship ride tomorrow was already going to be a pain in the ass."_ Jaune thought as they walked back into Junior's, hearing him moan as they did so. _"But now it's going to be a pain in the dick as well."_


	2. Chapter 2

Jaune groaned as the Bullhead hit a pocket of turbulence. His stomach rebelled against him every time he got on one, but it was the only way to get to and from Beacon academy. And that's where he was heading.

Jaune was sitting at the end of the Bullhead next to a garbage can, trying to drown out the world. He wished he could be drinking right now, but unfortunately it was likely that the alcohol mixed with his motion sickness would end incredibly badly. So he had to suck it up, both figuratively and a little literally until he could have the sweet nectar in his gourd.

It seemed however that he would be unable to focus on keeping his stomach in line, as he felt someone nudging his shoulder. He looked up to the person bothering him, and saw Yang smiling at him. Behind her stood a young girl with red highlights, a red hood and a red skirt, all in all Jaune thought she was very… red.

"I thought it was you Bar Boy!" Yang said cheerfully.

Jaune looked up at her. "Bar Boy?" he asked.

"Well you did kind of drink the rest of the bar when we went back inside."

"I drank like two bottles."

"Of Vodka!"

"Yeah but that's weak stuff."

There was an awkward silence before Yang threw her arm around the girl behind her. "So this is my younger sister Ruby!" Yang said

Jaune looked at the girl, now known as Ruby who looked at him shyly. "Hi."

"Hey."

Another silence.

"So Ruby got in here two years early!" Yang said.

"YAAAAAAANG!" Ruby whined.

"That's impressive and I'm sure we can discuss this later but…" Jaunes words were cut off as his stomach gave an unpleasant lurch and he immediately stuck his head into the bin retching.

Ruby frowned and sat next to Jaune and began rubbing his back, Yang grinned. "Hangover?"

"I don't get hangovers, this is just motion sickness." Jaune said whipping his chin, he looked at Ruby. "Thanks."

Ruby smiled softly at him "No problem."

The rest of the trip was a bit more enjoyable for Jaune as both Ruby and Yang helped take his mind of his motion sickness slightly. Ruby being pleasant to talk to and Yang constantly making puns about whatever she could think of. It didn't help when they hit a patch of turbulence but it was at least something.

When they arrived at Beacon, Jaune was first off the Bullhead when the doors opened, immideatly lying facedown in the grass and hugging it.

"Oh sweet and precious land I promise ill never leave you again." Jaune said Ignoring the snickering from Ruby and Yang behind him. "And now" Jaune said removing the gourd from his hip "a toast to making it to Beacon and off the Bullhead." He uncapped it and took a huge swig.

"You sure you should be drinking?" Ruby asked.

Jaune didn't respond as he was still drinking out of his gourd. When he finished he looked her dead in the eye "I should always be drinking."

There was an awkward pause. Finally Yang spoke, "So what now?"

"Well I don't know about you two but I'm going to stay here and keep drinking until the ceremony starts. So, feel free to do whatever."

Jaune closed his eyes and began drinking. He wasn't ignoring the girls because he didn't like either of them, far from it. Ruby was kind and fun to talk to, she was also insanely cute, like basket full of puppies cute; Yang was, well she was Yang, the punching pun master, and despite the… incident of the night before, he did enjoy her company. No, the truth was he was just very, very, very, very awkward. During his time training he hadn't had a lot of practice socializing with anyone save for his teacher. And honestly, he hadn't been the best role model in terms of human interaction. So, he did the only thing he knew how to, retreat into his drink. So he relaxed, took another swig from his gourd, and closed his eyes preparing to take a quick nap, or at least he hoped to before an explosion interrupted his relaxation.

Sitting up he saw Ruby sitting in a crater, being yelled at by a slender girl in a similar dress to rubies save for it being as white as her hair. Her voice was insanely shrill and annoying and Jaune was about to tell her to shut up. However in the middle of her ranting a raven haired girl approached and said something that at first made White smile, but then quickly frown and become indignant and offended. Jaune smirked at that, and was about to go back to taking his nap, until he saw Ruby's face. She looked like a lost kitten, sitting down with a little raincloud appearing over her haid.

" _Dammit."_ Jaune thought before getting up and walking over to Ruby.

"Hey." Ruby looked up and saw Jaune reaching down for her. "Need a hand?"

Jaune and Ruby walked along the courtyard, talking about what happened. Ruby berated Jaune when he called the white-haired girl, who's name as it happens was Weiss, a frozen bitch. But at the same time, she didn't say he was wrong in his description. It was the little victories you know.

They continued walking in silence, finally Ruby turned to Jaune. "Sooooo I've got this thing." Jaune looked over to see her extend a gigantic crimson scythe at least twice as bigger than her.

"That is both awesome and terrifying." Was Jaune's only comment.

Ruby grinned, "Yeah I built Crescent Rose myself, my baby is also a high impact sniper rifle."

"Isn't that a bit much?" Jaune said sweat dropping.

"Eh…" Ruby said waving her hand in a 'kind of' gesture. "I may have gone a bit over board, but I'm a bit of a weapons nerd sooo." She continued with the 'kind of' gesture and Jaune snickered.

"So what do you have?" Ruby asked.

"Hmm?"

"Your weapons?" Ruby said gesturing at Jaune. "Weapons nerd." Pointing to herself.

Jaune made a sort of 'Oh' sound"Well they aren't as impressive as yours but you see this wrappings on my hands and feet?" he extended his hands to show Ruby the white linen that was wrapped around them. "I call them Raiden's Fangs, there nothing to flash, just lightning dust woven into some cloth, I only need to pump a bit of my aura into them to infuse my strikes with additional lightning. And that's basically it, honestly my weapon is more my semblance than anything."

Ruby's eyes on the other hand were shining. "That's sooooo cooooool, I've never heard of dust clothing before! And what's your semblance if that's your main weapon?"

"Well I'm not giving away everything." Jaune said.

"I'll pout." Said Ruby.

"You wouldn't!" Jaune gasped.

Ruby stuck out her bottom lip and her eyes seemed to grow three sizes over.

"No I wont."

Her lip began to quiver.

"Must… Resist… dammit fine. I'll give you a hint."

"Yaaaaay!" Ruby cheered. Jaune meanwhile became much warier of Ruby and her weaponized cuteness.

"So what's the hint?" Ruby asked. Jaune simply took the gourd from his hip and tapped it. "This."

"Your gourd?"

"Yep."

"Not much of a hint."

"Too bad."

A brief silence.

"So do you know where the entrance ceremony is?"

"I was following you!"

AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA

After the entrance ceremony, where Ozpin in Jaune's opinion gave a very dread inspiring speech, the Weiss girl came to nag Ruby again and insulted Jaune to which he called her a cunt, Yang laughed, Wiess spluttered and Ruby berated Jaune. Then they were all dismissed to the main hall.

Jaune was lying down in plaid pyjama bottoms and a white T-shirt, taking swigs from his gourd while Ruby and Yang were chatting about they day. Jaune wasn't really paying attention until a pillow thrown by Ruby hit him in the face. Jaune slowly turned to look at Ruby as she was apologising and Yang was laughing. Jaune put his gourd down and reached for his own pillow. He threw it at Ruby who ducked and Jaune hit Yang instead.

There was a silence. Somehow a tumbleweed passed through the hall as the three stood up, each with a pillow in their hands. They all jumped at one another, all that anyone could see afterwards was a dust cloud and the occasional face popping out of it.

"CAN YOU DOLTS BE QUIET!" a shrill and all to familiar voice shouted and Jaune groaned turning to see none other that the Icey Bitch herself. "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"And I doubt any of your shouting is helping the rest but please go on screaming." Jaune said looking over his shoulder at Weiss.

"I..!"

"Should shut up." Jaune said. Weiss growled and turned the other way, marching back to her sleeping area.

"We should go to sleep though." Jaune said to Ruby and Yang who both agreed, and pulled their blankets over themselves.

Jaune stoppered his gourd and lay down, wondering what initiation would be like as he closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's morning! It's morning! It's morning!" The loud singsong voice woke up everyone in a 20 foot radius. Including Jaune.

He looked up to where the noise was coming from, and saw a ginger haired girl, who seemed to be teleporting around a oriental looking boy who looked dead on his feet.

"SorenhowdoyouthinkteamsareassignedRen?Doyouthinkwe'llbetogether?Notliketogethertogether!Notthatyouaren'thandsomeoranythingbut..!" The ginger girl seemed to think as fast as she could think, and it was giving Jaune a headache. Luckily the boy was able to quite her by holding up his hand.

"Nora. I think you are being a bit too loud." The boy, Jaune thought he heard the girl call him Ren in that torrent of talk, said in a very slow and calm voice.

The girl, Nora looked around and saw Jaune looking at them, obviously woken by the commotion.

"Oops." Nora said rubbing the back of her head and grinning "Sorry about that!" she called even louder to Jaune, subsequently waking even more people up.

Jaune sighed, got up and went to get ready for initiation.

After going to the cafeteria to have some bacon, eggs, coffee and baileys, and seeing a swordfish being spit roasted as well as the Nora girl from earlier eat what looked to be every pancake in existence without exploding. He went to the changing room to get his equipment.

His locker number was 636, but for some reason it wasn't between numbers 635 and 637 so he had to spend nearly thirty minutes looking for it. Luckily he never let his gourd out of his sight so he didn't get too annoyed. Still ticked him off a bit though. And it didn't help that when he finally found it, that the Ice bitch was right next to it, talking to another girl who, like every other girl Jaune had seen, was drop dead gorgeous. She wore bronze armour covering her forearms, shins, waist and upper body with silk as red as her hair interwoven in them, on her head was a tiara bronze same as the rest, and her eyes were an incredible shade of emerald.

Jaune walked up to the pair. "Excuse me." He said.

The pair turned to look at him, the redhead curious and Weiss looking annoyed. "What do you want?" she asked.

Jaune gestured at the locker behind the redhead. "My locker, it's behind you uh… sorry don't know your name."

The redhead was about to answer when Weiss cut in. "Wait you don't know who she is?!" She asked incredulously.

Jaune looked at Weiss glaring at him _"Huh she has nice eyes, didn't notice that before."_ He thought before speaking. "Two things. One no I don't that's why I asked, it's how learning who people are works. And two I didn't know your voice could get shriller but apparently it can." He turned away from Weiss to look back at the redhead. "Now could you move please uh..?"

"Nikos, Pyrrah Nikos. And sure." She said stepping out of the way.

"Cheers." Jaune said stepping forward and opening his locker, reaching for his weapons. Weiss stepped up next to him glaring. "She's been the Mystral tournament champion four years in a row."

"Cool." Jaune said wrapping his hands.

"She graduated top of her class at sanctum." Weiss said getting more annoyed.

"Uh-huh."

"She's on the cover of Pumpkin Pete's!" Weiss was practically screaming at this point.

"Look I'm gonna be honest." Jaune said turning to Weiss who was glaring at him. "I wasn't listening to a word you said."

"ASSFSHERISHFDFKAJERLIUEHSLFHKHW!" Weiss made an incomprehensible noise as she slumped forward, steam appearing out of her ears.

"Anyway I think initiation is starting soon so…"

The intercoms crackled "All first year students report to the cliffs. Initiation will begin in thirty minutes."

"…I guess I'll see you there." Jaune finished giving a two finger salute to both the girls.

AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA

At the cliffs Jaune was zoning out, waiting for initiation to start. He decided to take his gourd off of his hip and start drinking. He loved his gourd, his master had given it to him and it was probably the best gift imaginable. Not a lot of people knew that dust could ferment, at least not every kind of dust could. The inside of the gourd was laced with expired water and earth dust. He just needed to pump a tiny amount of aura into it and the water makes the alcohol and the earth gives it the flavour. Made for a great and near constant supply of alcohol. The only issue was that the strength of his brew was off the charts. Basically twice as strong as absinth, so not a lot of people could handle more than a sip, luckily Jaune had a VERY high tolerance.

When the last of the first years finally line up, Ozpin, along with deputy headmistress Glynda explained how initiation would work. They needed to go into the Emerald Forrest, go north and collect a relic, along the way the first person they made eye contact with would be there partner for the next four years that they'd be there. At that Jaune heard glass shattering and looked over to see Ruby clearly distraught at that fact. He grinned at went back to his drink.

"… now are there any questions?" Ozpin finally finished. Jaune raised his hand looking at Ozpin out of the corner of his eye, still drinking. Ozpin looked at him and Jaune his face flushed as he stoppered his gourd and asked "How we getting down."

Ozpin grinned. "Like this." And Jaune was flung into the air as the launchpad at his feet was activated.

Everyone could here a faint "FUCK YOU" as Jaune was sent flying out of sight.

AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA

Jaune was seriously pissed. But at the same time, he was amused, Ozpin had some serious stones to pull a stunt like that with a student. _"Guess this really was a school for hunters."_ Jaune thought as he righted himself in the air. He was beginning to arc downward and was approaching the tops of the trees fast.

Jaune pumped his aura into his hands and prepped himself. That was until a red and orange spear pierced his shirt and pinned him to a tree.

"I'm sorry!" a voice shouted from the distance.

Jaune looked up and saw the spear in his shirt. He reached up and yanked it out, and landed in a crouch on the forest floor.

"Guess I might as well wait for the person who threw this spear to come." Jaune mumbled to himself, sitting down and was about to take his gourd from his hip until he heard a growling coming from the bushes. He turned slowly to look at the three Beowolves coming out of the undergrowth.

Jaune grinned. "Time for some fun."

The first Beowolf lunged at him, and Jaune leaned forward and as the Grimm was half way over his head, he bit down on a small fire dust crystal in his mouth, igniting the alchohol in his mouth as he spat engulfing the Beowolf in flames. As the Grimm died, Jaune stood up, swaying as he faced the other two.

"Next?" Jaune slurred raising his hands and punching the air.

Both the wolves growled and lunged at him. One from the air one from below, Jaune jumped between the gap and landed in a somersault and immediately turned to the Beowolf closets to him grabbing its tail. Jaune grunted and threw the Grimm over his shoulder, exposing its stomach and immediately punching its chest repeatedly, crushing its ribcage. As it began fading Jaune turned to the last Grimm that was already lunging at him. Jaune swayed to the right, and pushed his back into the left side of the Beowolfs face, forcing it off balance. As it staggered, jaune continued falling and twisted performing a hammerfist strike on the Grimms shoulder and with a sickening pop dislocating it. Now that the Grimm couldn't walk, Jaune walked up to the Grimm and kicked its neck killing it.

As the last Grimm faded he began walking back to his gourd.

"That was very impressive." Jaune turned and saw Pyrrah walking towards him.

"Cheers." Jaune said taking a swig from his gourd. He grabbed the spear from the ground and looked at Pyrrah. "This yours?"

Pyrrah blushed a bit and looked down. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Next time you wan't to pin me to somewhere take me on a date first though." Jaune said taking another swig and tossing the spear to her.

Pyrrah blushed furiously as she caught it, but Jaune didn't see as he turned away and began walking north.

"C'mon then. Partner."

Pyrrah jogged after Jaune, and began walking beside him, as both of them headed out to complete initiation, and their first step to becoming hunters.


End file.
